Steps

As my time here approaches its end, and I start to consider the next stretch of my travels, I cannot believe how fast time has past me by. But when I consider my own progress, it is accurate to the time elapsed, and I achieved what I came here to do.

I attained closure within myself on silly demons that have been playing my mind like a puppet show for years. Issues of childhood have been swallowed and digested.

I have managed to achieve a solid and concrete state in a relationship that has equally played my heart like a puppet show. This taught me so many things about myself and my strength, that actually made me reconsider my approaches, attainments, and hopes in my life. You are and always will remain my best friend, my soulmate, and I thank you for being my lesson. I will always have an infinite amount of love for you. That I will never deny.

I have reached a definite outline in terms of my priorities and goals for the near future up to the next 5 years or so. I am a master of being aware that plans never go according to plan. However it's better than waiting for something to fall out of the sky. If I want something, I will get it with my own two hands, on my own two feet, and anyone in my way can pull their lips over their own heads and swallow. End of.

I have realized that clouding ones mind does not enable it or help it to wonder. Would you wonder around in a hazy forest? How would you ever know what is waiting for you around the corner? Clarity is key. And in my clarity, I rediscovered my utter joy and love for art, it's basic materials and processes of creation, as well as the effect it has on me once I complete a piece. For me, the completed piece brings inner peace. I am in love. Creativity has carried me under her wings once more. And I am exhilarated at having my feet swept off the ground by her!

My previously mentioned daily project is to commence upon my return to Canada.

I have attained a physical appearance in which I do not feel that any aspect of myself is deceiving or misleading, and I am at total ease with myself and who I am. What you see is exactly who I am, whatever word you choose to define that with, that is who I am in your eyes. And I will not apologize for that :) In terms of physicalities, I do have one permanent change to be made, and that is one of my tattoos. A good friend of mine told me that associations are very important to our personal psychology, which got me thinking. If you see something that you associate to a negative aspect of your life, change it. I do not feel negativity in the association of this tattoo, but it does bring a particular person to my mind, and a particular time of our relationship. Whilst I cherish every moment we spent together, I want to look down at my foot and see something that I associate to love and stability in my roots, because it's what I stand on. I want this association to be my Mother. The title of my blog "Petit a petit, l'oiseau fait son nid" is something my mother has been saying to me since I was child, at any time of uncertainty, hurt, or self-doubt. This will be reflected in my transformation of this tattoo. I will be leaving hints of what it is at the moment, because as per association, I would be lying through my teeth if I ever tried to claim that the person I currently associate it to had not had permanent effects of who I am in my own evolution. He showed my sides to life and myself I never would have discovered otherwise. Again, thank you. Changes in the ink soon to come!


I cannot wait, at this stage, for the next part of my travels! The last time I went to UK, I returned inspired and brand new minded. And this trip will be so much longer, during which time I will have so much more time alone, of self reflection in a place wherein I grew up, wherein I nearly lost my mind, wherein I felt things I never want to feel again. In this trip I will have a very difficult visit to a grave I never could bring myself to see, my Papa. This trip will also comprise of more concerts! New people! Old friends! My wonderful and talented brother! And for the first time in my life, my cousin!

Let the love, light and healing pour in!
<3